Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Revised



It's a while ago that I posted here on my base-weblog. I am to busy with my daily haiku meme Carpe Diem so sometimes by lack of time I don't post here. Today I was re-reading my first English haiku and I love to share a revised one.

This was my first haiku in English ever, I wrote it in 2005 and it became a wellknown haiku. It's even part of a worldwide anthology of haiku and other Japanese poetry forms.


a lonely flower
my companion
for one night





A haiku with deeper meaning, but also a haiku with sweet memeories. Today I have written a revision of this one:


a lonely flower
my companion for one night -

deep silence


It makes this haiku stronger, more in balance I think. What do you think?

See you ... have a nice day!


Namaste

2 comments:

Siggi in Downeast Maine said...

Thank you for sharing...both the original and the revised haiku.

I like both versions,
but can see the richness in the revised haiku.

Peace
Siggi

Kalyan said...

lovely words...nice lines!